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The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

 Author: Nan Silver  Category: Self-Help  Publisher: Harmony  Published: May 16, 1999  Language: English  File Size: 1.77 MB  Tags: counsellingfamilyMarriageNonfictionParentingPersonal DevelopmentPsychologyRelationshipsself help |  Download PDF
 Description:

Summary:

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by Nan Silver, describe seven principles:

  1. Sharing love maps.
  2. Nurturing fondness and admiration.
  3. Turning toward each other, instead of away.
  4. Letting your partner influence you.
  5. Solving your solvable problems.
  6. Overcoming gridlock.
  7. Creating shared meaning together.

Famous Quotes:

Women find a man’s willingness to do housework extremely erotic.

Some people leave a marriage literally, by divorcing. Others do so by leading parallel lives together.

Active listening asks couples to perform Olympic-level emotional gymnastics even if their relationship can barely walk.

Friendship fuels the flames of romance because it offers the best protection against feeling adversarial toward your spouse.

Human nature dictates that it is virtually impossible to accept advice from someone unless you feel that that person understands you.

Working briefly on your marriage every day will do more for your health and longevity than working out at a health club.

Betrayal is, fundamentally, any act or life choice that doesn’t prioritize the commitment and put the partner before all others.

At the heart of the Seven Principles approach is the simple truth that happy marriages are based on a deep friendship.

In satisfying relationships, partners incorporate each other’s goals into their concept of what their marriage is about.

The point is that neuroses don’t have to ruin a marriage. If you can accommodate each other’s crazy side and handle it with caring, affection, and respect, your marriage can thrive.

But in their day-to-day lives, they have hit upon a dynamic that keeps their negative thoughts and feelings about each other (which all couples have) from overwhelming their positive ones. They have what I call an emotionally intelligent marriage.


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